Monday, March 30, 2020

March 30, 2020
Day 1172 of working from home... wait, that's not right *counts on fingers, mumbling to self*... OK, got it: Day 14 of working from home(10, if we're only counting regular school days).

Some of my coworkers have been negligent today. Only one barked at the mail carrier, and his heart wasn't in it.  I've documented them sleeping on the job earlier.
Now Mel has taken over the large "settee" and is not letting his larger coworkers share. It's rude of him, especially since there are multiple smaller, yet just as comfortable lounging options, but not something I can really report to HR...yet. I'm keeping an eye on him(he's a bit sassy). Oh, I know he looks innocent, and acts really sweet, but he's a shifty one.
I have only had to rescue one shoe from the silly blond, and our Head of Security managed NOT to tip over my table when she got under it to "help" me type e-mails to my students today in her oh so earnest quest for brownie points. She only got tangled in a couple of the cords, and nothing crashed to the floor, so I'll call that a win. No pix, was too busy trying to keep the laptop from doing a header onto the floor.

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Working from home: The Coworkers, Days 1- 4

My FB post from March 18: 
>>A friend of mine posted this on a Facebook page were both a member of and I thought it sounded fun, so I'm totally stealing it. Everybody working from home today, tell us what your two and/or four-footed family members are doing, but refer to them as your coworkers.>>
Boy did my friends deliver!  I had planned to upload people's comments, because they were hilarious! But trying to upload 15 screenshots, in the right order, is, as my students would say, doin' too much.  SO check out Herbie Torio's March 18th at 1:12 pm FB post to see the comments. SO worth it!  I'll just put my own here, as I can copy-paste.

This post is crazy-long, but it's because I put 4 days all into this post, and included several pix and two videos.  Going forward they won't be anywhere near this long

March 18th 2020- Official Working From Home Day 2   
1:12pmI just finished brushing several of my coworkers hair. One of my coworkers is sleeping on the back of the couch. You know, most of my coworkers have absolutely NO sense of personal space: one is on my shoulder trying to lick my head, while 2 more are pushing and shoving each other to get in my lap, and another one is trying to chew on my toe. How RUDE. I should really file a complaint with HR. I have another coworker who is chewing on a plastic pop bottle, and two more who are having a wrestling match( I keep TELLING them it's against the rules to chew on each other's ears, but they said I'm not the boss of them and they don't have to do what I say). Another one is squeaking a squeaky toy that I thought would be destroyed(and stop being squeaky)within 24 hours when I gave it to her...THREE MONTHS AGO. The rest of my coworkers tired themselves out yelling at the mail carrier and are now sleeping on the jo

11:25pm This evening one of my coworkers got into 2 fights: One was with another coworker who's a lot bigger than him but older, and a lover not a fighter. "Why" you ask? Because I came home and everybody lost their minds and apparently I did not make it into the house fast enough so he thought he had to eat his coworker...The 2nd was with somebody 1/10 his size all because somebody else was walking with their coworker outside of our fence. Another one of my coworkers got caught peeing on the water bowl, while the oldest guy in the office just walked around grumbling at everybody The only thing that got him to stop was letting him sit on my lap and petting him. I've got 2 different coworkers sleeping on the back of the couch and another one chewing on a pop bottle. Have a couple of coworkers who are a little bit nutty: the one keeps jumping up and trying to bite the throat of the guy who got into fights( This is completely not related to the fights by the way). One of them keeps trying to bring poop into the house after they go outside... He likes to have that for a little snack and gets upset when we take it away and he pouts. The rest of them currently are taking naps because yelling out the window at everybody who walks by is apparently very tiring and way more important than getting the work done. The teenaged blond is the worst about trying to sneak poop inside! Followed closely by our smallest, but fiercest(and just plain wierdest) little guy with the scraggly teeth. I have my suspicions that that guy is actually the leader of a biker gang when I'm not looking, and that he carries a knife in his boot. 


Thursday, March 19th, 2020  Official Working From Home Day 3
11:09 am Since getting locked in a cage for several hours last night my brawler employee has been on his best behavior today and keeps trying to put his head on my knee and give me kisses. He is also making a big point of turning his head away when his smaller ( And admittedly rude) coworkers get snarky with him. So I'm hoping HR is getting through to him about how one should behave with one's coworkers. 

1:53 pm  I told her that other than UPS it's not getting any better than this. I suspect she was skeptical(see caption of pic)


11:21 pmOne of my coworkers is currently hiding under the side table, swearing loudly at anybody who gets too close.  HR will hear about this.
Pistol Pete






Friday, March 20, Official Working From Home Day 4
10:38 am Five co-workers wanted to snuggle in bed with me this morning, which wouldn't have been so bad, except the biggest, hairiest one had been outside in the yard naked, playing in mud. The supervisor bit him on the nose. HR despairs of my department

4:00 pm  Two of the more boisterous co-workers and I took a field trip to a friend's barn. The area in question is enclosed, and 1/2 again as large as the outdoor break area here at the home office, which, despite both of them having at best intermittent recall, allowed them to safely play games which would not be possible here. And you sure don't have turkey feathers in the yard here at the home office!