Troll Under the Bridge(errr, Bed)

This work from home thing is a mixed bag.  I like working in comfy clothes, and not having to worry much about my hair. But I miss my school coworkers; they are so much less likely to bite each other or pee on the floor(sigh).

So, the other day I chose to sleep in a bit(was up late in a buying frenzy on Teachers Pay Teachers) when I was awoken by a Troll under my bed. You may remember the fairy tale about the troll under the bridge? I had one under my bed.  

Allow me to explain: my smaller(and least likely to shed) office mates tend to sleep with me. They come and go as they please, at speed, according to whether or not the two-footed office mate is opening bananas in the kitchen, or giving out T R E A T S(can't say that one out loud!), and I am accustomed to the occasional mass exodus, followed shortly thereafter by a torrent of little bodies hurtling onto the bed and trodding across my slumbering personage as they jockey for position under the covers or on the pillows or on top of my feet. I am accustomed to it, and my sleep is relatively uninterrupted by their comings and goings.

On this ill-fated morning however, things did not go according to our norm. Instead of the pitter-patter of prancy, bananna-fed paws, there was a great hue and cry.  There was scuffling and scrabbling and all sorts of unsavory noise and even(dare I say?) fisticuffs.  I peered over the edge of the mattress to find that Pistol Pete had installed himself under the bed, and from this fortified location was preventing the return of those seeking to rejoin me within the warmth of the covers, much as the storied Troll prevented travelers from crossing his bridge.  As they tried to leap onto the bed, he came hurtling out from under, screaming a battle cry and attempting to bite all and sundry. One or two made it past Pete's battlement, but the majority were prevented, to which they objected strongly, hurling their own insults back at Pete, and showing all their teeth.  Some of them withdrew to the safety of the doorway, from which they continued screaming obscenities, waving fists and rattling shields.  Mel and Smokey independently chose to face down Pete, resulting in the fisticuffs to which I earlier referred. Neither party was able to dissuade Pete from his course, and indeed merely fueled his wrath. Herbie(the eldest member of our establishment) finally had enough and tried to dislodge Pete himself, causing Pete to retreat further under the bed into a space wherein Herbie could not fit. More shaking of fists and hurling of insults were had by all(except the two who were already safely ensconced under my covers and on my pillow), whereupon I was exhorted by Herbie, (he is convinced that I work for him) to DO SOMETHING NOW.  

It took much shaking of treat jars and cajoling, but I was finally able(withOUT getting bitten!) to convince our 13lb troll to come out from under the bed and stop all the ruckus. He was quite pleased with himself.  I will be having words with HR, as I am not at all impressed if this is the result of their team building exercises.